reality is better

by - 12:22 AM

I don't really know what the entire point of this post is. There is no start, no end. It's a blop of my thoughts about expectations and criterias since people were asking me on askfm. I didn't really want to sort out my thoughts, because for once- I'd like to place my raw thoughts, uneditted, here. But I guess at the end of the day, this is just me being absolutely thankful that I've found a keeper who does so much more than care for me. 

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If you were to ask me years back to list out the criteria that my future boyfriend should fulfill, the list would probably be never ending. I was picky, very picky about who I wanted to marry - although I had no clue in mind then of who that would even be! 

If I wanted to exaggerate how long that list was, this would be it. 

My expectations of a guy were high (really high) from reading countless romance novels (especially those from Nicholas Sparks!!!!), watching High School Musical 1 through 3 and many other romance movies. Not to mention the many Disney stories I've fallen in love with over the years, ahhhh the Prince Charming in every story would always make me aslkdjalksdjad. Every time I was done with either the book or the movie, I would always think to myself and dream about how much I wanted a guy like that for myself too. But as years went by, I started wondering if such guys do exist. Y'know, the perfect kind that comes in, sweeps you off your feet and completely blows your mind. Not because I had no one, but because I grew up and realized that these are just shows. They're meant to be perfect. But nothing in reality, nothing in life is ever that perfect now is it? And so I decided that maybe I should start thinking of not so unrealistic criterias, because I'm not that great of a catch either to be expecting so much from someone else. 

They were my first otp though!!!! 

I've placed all the unrealistic Disney dreams aside. Kept them in a box up in my mind to remember and laugh at occasionally. The only criterias I knew I had were that 1) he has to LOVE animals as much as I do, 2) he should want to constantly improve himself, 3) he should find hidden potentials in me and make me want to be a better person too, 4) i shouldn't have to change who i am for him and 5) we should make each other happier/more positive people. I knew I would stick to these 5 no matter what. It was definitely no recipe for the perfect Prince Charming like in romance novels I've read, or movies I've watched. But seriously, do Prince Charmings from books even exist nowadays?

The last few months have taught me so much. I've learnt that (personally speaking of course), when you are with someone, be it dating or just friends or whatever the relationship is like, they should make you want to be better, they should make you a better person. BUT they shouldn't be guilt-tripping you into becoming better through threatens to break-up or leave you, they shouldn't be forcing you to change into a person you are not. You should not feel like you need to become better because they deserve better - you should not feel like you're less than them in any manner because you're you! You should want to become better, not because there is anything wrong with yourself, but because life is a process. Life is a process, and we are constantly learning and becoming better day by day. Being with someone should help you through this process of learning and becoming better, realizing your potentials and knowing how far more you can push yourself without snapping. 

Being in a relationship that is like a support system works wonders, it really does. If you can help someone recognize their own potential, while they're helping you recognize and find yours, that's something special there. I am glad I chucked away the stupid young girl mindset of wanting a perfect boyfriend. Because I have already found a keeper, a keeper that makes me a better person in so many different ways. Not because he's doing it on purpose, trying to change me into a perfect girl to shelve up, but because we're being each other's support system. 

That's the beauty of falling in love with someone who respects your needs to grow as a person, all the while being there for you through it all - making you a better person in general. 


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