January 11, 2015

swords and knives

It's almost 10pm 12am and this is possibly my 5th or 6th try at crafting this post. I honestly have no idea how to start or where to start from, but I do know what I want to talk about. This may offend you, may trigger stuff, may be something you can relate to, or it could possibly be something that's a total waste of time to read. I can't force you to feel the same as I, but I do hope you attempt to rethink what you're about to say to others. It could hurt them, even if you think it's harmless.


How many times have you been called something mean and something that completely destroys you? Have you ever been called something so cruel and so nasty that it tears your insides apart? The feeling of utter disgust at not them, but yourself. Seeing yourself fall apart because of words spoken by others. Have you ever felt so low in life because of words, words that should not have such an impact on you. Having those words repeated at you so much you start to believe them, thinking you are never good enough.

Personally, I've been on the receiving end of many such words that made me feel so pathetic and disgusted at myself. It was a phase in life I would never wish upon anyone, not any girl or any guy. I've tried locking up those memories, placing them away so that I would never ever have to see them again. Much less relive those memories, but it still haunts me. It haunts me when I least expect it, and that just sucks so bad. and honestly up till today, I still have no clue why people called me names which were so mean and cruel. 

But boohoo, those memories made me 'stronger'. Yes as cliche as it sounds, it did. But thinking again, did it make me stronger or did they make me a more cautious person. I became less talkative, less open, less enthusiastic, less known. I shut myself from the world around me and kept to the few I knew best. I fought the nightmares and I fought the demons growing inside me. I became stronger and was able to deal with all the names thrown at me because I guarded myself. I built walls which were impenetrable, I built layers after layers of defense to block out anyone who tried to tear me down. I became a cold, dark person that eventually had no one (except for one). 


and the worst part about it all, is that most of us who are called names have no idea what we did wrong. The word slut has been thrown around ever since I could remember. 

slut, whore, bitch 

From the beginning, slut was a word meant to punish women for having a lot of sex; now we use it to punish women in other ways. We punish women by calling them such horrid names. Just because someone lost their virginity at a young age, does not make them a slut. Search the dictionary for the exact meaning of a slut before you go around calling someone such an awful name. She did it ONCE, thinking she was truly in love with the guy and that she was going to marry him. Yes, blame her for being naive and being stubborn. But she is probably regretting the decision more than ever knowing that sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to. But never call her a slut for loving a guy. Never call her a slut just because she lost her virginity thinking the guy loved her too. Never ever call someone mean and hurtful names just because it makes you happy.

Calling someone mean names just because you don't like the way she dresses or the way she looks is pure evil. It ruins someone so much that they may no longer feel like getting out of bed every morning. Imagine your daughter coming home one day, asking you "Mummy, am I not pretty enough?" how would you respond? Would your heart break knowing that you beautiful little girl is being bullied? 

Take a moment to realize that one day, if it ever happens to you- how would you feel? Being called such hurtful names. Think before you go all out trying to pull a girl down for decisions she made. Think before you start ruining her, destroying her. Think before you destroy every last bit of her, before she can't be saved. It disgusts me that people throw around such insults like they're casual adj. They're not. They are swords and knives that can actually cut a person up and slice every last hope they have. At the age of 16, they should not be worrying about what their parents would think if they woke up to a love letter from their dead daughter. No. It shouldn't happen like this. It just isn't right. 

But hey, living in a society like this, in a world like this. It's impossible to ever stop. People will still call each other sluts and other mean shit names. But would YOU do the same? Would you call them names knowing that it does break them apart, it does ruin them forever? If you would, I honestly have no idea why you read this post and much less till the very end. But if you wouldn't, I ask for you to be there for the people who are going through this, who are trying to get back on their feet. They may not be shouting or screaming they need help/someone, but just be there for them. They would appreciate it immensely, I guarantee.

If you have ever been called such horrid names, don't ever let that define you. Don't ever let those ugly words scar your beautiful self. Don't let them control you, don't be their puppet. You are your own hero, your own angel. Don't let words bring you down.

with much love, sheryl (ɔ˘ ³(ˆ‿ˆc)